How to Be a Typical Tourist

If you are traveling in an area with a culture different from your own, restaurants are great places to show your individuality through unrestrained whining. Before looking at the menu, ask for common American foods like hamburgers, french fries, or maybe catfish filets. Whine about having to pay for bottled water with your meal and mumble comments like, "Taco Bell back home serves their refried beans with cheese." Perish the thought that you might explore some new taste experience in a foreign country.
With these small alterations to your normally polite and dignified nature, you will be fast on your way to joining the ranks of the typical tourist.
…