Why is adultery so frightening yet so fascinating? In part, its because we recognize the appeal of it. We grew up in triangles, competing for our mother's attention with our fathers and our siblings, and vice versa. That taught us, deep inside, to be terrified of abandonment and to resent sharing. We never quite give up on the childish fantasy that somehow, someday, we'll find someone all our own who wants only us. This destructive fantasy keeps us looking for love in all the wrong places.
Adultery is about character or the lack of character. It stems from a lifetime of uncertainty, and in…