I am writing about the French because they have had quite an effect on me. I mean, I kind of consider myself French. Whenever an American asks me where I am from, their response to my "France" is invariably a demonstration of how uncultured, unintelligent, and/or unknowledgeable they are. They will generally break out into a triumphant cry of "Fromage!", and then laugh. Or worse, they'll itch their head and pose the question: "In Kansas, right?" Unfortunately because I am also American and do hold an American passport, I am more guilty of such things than your average American. I say all of it, but because I am half-French, I say them better.
My purpose here is to reveal the French. I want to show what all of these things are, about which the French are made fun of. I wish to describe what they are in actual France. And of course, because I am half-French, after all, I wish to explain why the rest of the world is undeniably inferior (a favorite French topic of discussion). …